then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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