The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Randomize
