my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
