It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
