I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
