Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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