Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
