That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
