you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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