Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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