well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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