I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
