bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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