I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
