I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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