your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
