She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
operation harelip BJ is a go
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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