i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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