I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
