Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
