I am midnight drunk by noon
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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