Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
