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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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