We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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