I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
sick fucks of a feather flock together
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
