don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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