I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
