Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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