Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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