she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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