Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
