you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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