Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
