Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
