dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
