Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize