you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
