I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
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