I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
