What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I love you. Go after that dick
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
