if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
