Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
