My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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