We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize