Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I will die if light touches me.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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