i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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