Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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