He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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