considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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