Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
