Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
